


Relief

by AfflictedwithAlliteration



Series: Dark Chocolate [11]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underswap (Undertale), Angst, Breakup, Gender Neutral, Hurt No Comfort, Long Drabble, Non-Linear Narrative, POV Second Person, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:34:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23207062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AfflictedwithAlliteration/pseuds/AfflictedwithAlliteration
Summary: It hurt for all the wrong reasons.
Relationships: Papyrus (Undertale)/Reader
Series: Dark Chocolate [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/848361
Comments: 3
Kudos: 29





	Relief

“And then she said—“

“Do you love me?”

“What—” you break off abruptly, staring at Papyrus in shock. The silence is uncomfortable and abrupt as you try to rally your train of thought again. “I don’t—what are you talking about?”

“Ain’t a hard question, honey.”

“I don’t understand the question!” You shoot back, annoyed, fingers clenching around nothing. Your chest is clenching painfully now because it’s clear from his smoothed-out expression and narrowed eyelights…the skeleton is entirely serious. 

That makes him laugh but it sounds stiff. It’s the polite laughter he gives everyone at work. “Are you still in love with me? Right now.”

“Pa—”

“’Cause I’m not in love with you.”

The words are flat. Not forced, unflinching and honest like most conversations with him but they don’t…they don’t hurt. And if you’re honest you aren’t surprised when you think back to the last week.

* * *

“You’re back late.”

“Hadn’t noticed.”

Truth be told you hadn’t either, not until he’d actually come home. You aren’t angry though you know how his projects tend to eat up all of his brain space. But habit makes you continue. 

“Can you text me next time?”

“Sure thing.”

He doesn’t.

When did he stop?

* * *

The words don’t even hurt but you still struggle to answer. 

“Where…where is this coming from?”

“I dunno,” he sighs pushing his food away while you continue to cut yours into child size pieces like it will make the conversation go away. “Maybe ‘cause this is the longest conversation we’ve had in a month?”

If his earlier declaration hadn’t hurt, this does. It knocks the breath from your lungs literally but when he starts to get up you wave him away and steady yourself. Now your eyes are beginning to burn but for all the wrong reasons. 

But as you go over the last weeks, the last month, you can’t remember having sat down like this.

* * *

“WHAT’S MY BROTHER BEEN UP TO?”

The questions startles you enough that you answer instantly, honestly. “I don’t know.” 

“AH…I HAD THOUGHT...” Sans coughs, “WELL, HE DOES SEEM BUSY THESE DAYS.”

You can’t tell him now that Papyrus is at home. That when you’d left he’d been watching T.V. or sleeping and that you hadn’t bothered to check.

* * *

You don’t want to cry because he looks just as lost as you feel now that you actually pay attention. The expressionless appearance is pulled taunt, the face he uses when he doesn’t want to show how he feels. His narrowed eyes to avoid crying himself…when had you stopped noticing?

“I don’t.”

There’s no stopping the sob as you say it, voice breaking on the last word. It feels like someone punched straight through your chest and was squeezing your heart. You wanted to deny it, to take the words back as soon as you’d said them but instead you finally drop the cutlery to bury your face in your hands.

* * *

You feel through the dark as you pad to the bathroom, still half-asleep and not bothering to turn the light on as you pee. When you waddle back, eyes finally beginning to adjust and note the beds empty.   
It only takes a minute to locate the faint glow of a smoke in the dark. You can just make out the outline of your bonefriend sitting in his armchair. 

You spare at thought for how long he’d been there, trying to remember if he’d even been in bed when you’d went to sleep before you’re back in dreamland.

* * *

“I’m sorry.” You whisper into your hands. 

You aren’t sure what you’re apologizing for, maybe all of it? Stumbling to your feet you move towards the skeleton who still hasn’t said a word. Processing or upset, you can’t tell right now but you wrap yourself around him and he just—

Collapses into you.

And he’s a stranger.

How long has it been since you’ve held each other like this?

* * *

There’s a pause as he shuts the front door.

“Have a good day!”

It’s a sleepy half attempt at a goodbye since you hadn’t gotten up with him that morning. You try to think if he’d even tried to wake you like he did sometimes but he hadn’t even pecked your cheek goodbye. You are tempted to go steal one from him but instead you find yourself drifting back off to sleep, with just the hum of the lights to keep you company.

* * *

“I’m gonna move back in with, Sans.”

His says into your shoulder, voice wet, and his arms tighten like you’ll pull away but you only cling tighter. You’re in his lap now, settled against him in a way that feels far to nostalgic. You can’t tell him not to because the worst part, the part that squeezes like a noose around your neck is that—

It doesn’t hurt at all.

You can’t even stop the gasp of relief. 

No more forced attempts at conversation, no more guilt. All these little things you’d ignored and pushed aside because nothing was actually wrong.

“I’m sorry.” You repeat.

“Me too, honey.”

But neither of you let each other go just yet. 

Without the burden of expectation, you feel like you can finally take comfort in him again, and you think he feels the same.

“What happened?”

You don’t mean to ask but you can’t help it.

“…I dunno.”

“Me neither.” You laugh a bit at the startled admission. You didn’t hate him right now, never had, can’t even think of the last time you’d fought but…you just didn’t love him. Not the way you used to. You feel your throat tighten again but force the words out. “You’re the best thing I ever did…so far.”

“So far?”

“Yup.”

You both finally loosen your grip and you pull back to try and smile at him. 

“Guess I can say the same.”

The smile on your face is just as awkward as his, and you can see the beginning of tears in his eyes this close, but you stand and pull away. Your lips tremble and you blink back the tears still trying to spill. 

“A-are we breaking up?”

“…yeah, honey, we are.”

You inhale shakily, a sob catching again as it really hits you. A part of you wants to beg him to stay but you don’t want to do this again. You know you’d fall back into the comfortable patterns, the distance until…

“Okay.” You breathe out hotly, closing your eyes so you can’t see his expression. “Okay.”  
“I—”

“Go, Papy.”

You open your eyes and smile at him as best you can. He’ll need his brother and it says a lot that he says nothing else and is gone. Just unfinished food and an empty house. 

It’s only then that you whimper. 

Only when you’re sure he’s gone to do you break down entirely, sinking back into the chair you let all the tightness in your chest release. Let the dark pit in your stomach swallow you spit you back out as you sob, the sounds bouncing back to your own ears pitifully until the quiet down.

Then you are crying for a different reason.

With the tension gone—

With Papy gone—

You laugh.

You laugh until you cry again, brain going over so many memories good and bad you can feel the headache coming. You want to feel the pain a bit longer, to prove something to yourself but you can’t deny it anymore. Shouldn’t have denied for so long that that now you’re so, so—

Relieved.

**Author's Note:**

> It is a day for angst. Why? Because my internet signal is too poor for tv but not too poor for non-picture sites. Enjoy!


End file.
